I know it's been a while since I've blogged. Believe me when I say I've tried. I have at least 5 or 6 posts started but haven't been able to write more than a few sentences for each of them, and while it's supposed to be good enough for a blog, it's not good enough for me.
I think the last time I wrote something honest in poetic format was New Year's. While 2011 was the most traumatic year of my life so far, the events of the 2012 had the potential to make 2011 seem like a butterknife. But I'm not letting it get to me.
I don't know how to say what I want to say. In the same breath, I want to express rage, forgiveness, hurt.
Now it's the start of Lent and it's so weird to me when people ask me what I'm giving up. You see, Lent isn't about giving up for me, although giving up things is a part of Lent. The question that needs to be asked is "how do you want to change throughout this season?" Sacrifice is an important part of developing a modest, humble soul and I am way too proud and self-righteous.
I know what I need to change. I know what I need to do. I need to let go of someone who has been haunting me for 2 years. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I am because I know I deserve more than nothing.
I'm starting this Lenten season in the same way I started 2012 - full of hope. It is a time of great joy, because no matter what happens, the deep happiness and love can never be taken away from you. I think it's time I reconciled myself to higher ideals and stopped trying to educate swine about the intrinsic value of pearls.
You see, I'm crazy for you but not that crazy.
I think the last time I wrote something honest in poetic format was New Year's. While 2011 was the most traumatic year of my life so far, the events of the 2012 had the potential to make 2011 seem like a butterknife. But I'm not letting it get to me.
I don't know how to say what I want to say. In the same breath, I want to express rage, forgiveness, hurt.
Now it's the start of Lent and it's so weird to me when people ask me what I'm giving up. You see, Lent isn't about giving up for me, although giving up things is a part of Lent. The question that needs to be asked is "how do you want to change throughout this season?" Sacrifice is an important part of developing a modest, humble soul and I am way too proud and self-righteous.
I know what I need to change. I know what I need to do. I need to let go of someone who has been haunting me for 2 years. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I am because I know I deserve more than nothing.
I'm starting this Lenten season in the same way I started 2012 - full of hope. It is a time of great joy, because no matter what happens, the deep happiness and love can never be taken away from you. I think it's time I reconciled myself to higher ideals and stopped trying to educate swine about the intrinsic value of pearls.
You see, I'm crazy for you but not that crazy.
