It's not that being in pain is hard,
being helpless is.
Normally I bounce from step to step
destroying the world with my rhino horn
and cheery attitude.
But with pain,
I feel alone
and when I'm alone is when the voices start.
So many voices with their
"How come?" and "failures"
yelling in my head
and I can't get it to stop.
All I can focus on is my one tiny step
to another tiny step
until all the distances in the world have been covered
with sheer persistence
because the opposite doesn't exist.
Nothing does not exist.
Therefore I must,
and I do,
and I will.

I Wish I Ran

I wish I ran.
I wish I could lace up my trainers
and splash splash splash across the puddles
until my ankles became soaked with the waters of the sky.
I wish I ran so I wouldn't obsess over what is right and what is true
and that all this anger and hurt in me
had somewhere to go,
maybe up up up
or down down down,
as long as it was headed away from me
and I could let it go,
run far away from it
and hope it wouldn't be able to find its way home.

After years of plausible deniability,
you call me and say my name
and I gravitate towards you.
You fascinate me,
you are the legs of a bee,
the eyes of a dragonfly,
the wingspan of an eagle.
You are the way all the spirals
in the world
are equal whether they are
invisible or visible to the human eye.
Are you visible to my eyes?
You make me hear music
behind my ears
and underneath my brain,
you make me hear music
for the first time again.