Most of you know me as that person who may or may not be totally sane and is extremely extremely friendly. Therefore, I can understand how hard it is for some of you to believe that having spent 4 months in this place (this place that I have to come like, I suppose), that my finger count supersedes my friend count. Honestly, it's not my fault! I've tried, believe me I have but when your classes are as big as 9 people (I know right? MASSIVE) and in an environment where people are willing to move through the next few steps in their lives, and I have just grown into my young adulthood, even 2 years in age makes a difference, let alone 10 or more.
I have made my peace with that. Last night, for the first time in life ever, I went to not one, but two movies by myself over at the Rainbow. It was actually a better time than I expected. I saw "Burlesque" and then "How Do You Know", both of which were quite enjoyable, the latter more than the former (although the former had this very yummy boy who would probably induce Type II diabetes for your eyes). I didn't make any friends, but I had a good time, and can see why people would use movies for escapism. I never was a big movie buff but now I think I might be. It's nice just to be around people.
A big part of me feels like I should be ashamed of this somehow. But I'm not. I had a great time and the movies were perfectly lovely. Another part of me hopes that I carve out my niche here soon and grow into my own again.
Cheers!
Hey love,
ReplyDeleteYou should never be ashamed of yourself, and I'm glad you're not. There's nothing like being with perfect company when watching a movie, and sometimes it's just what you find in being alone. Anywho, I miss you. And I can't wait for you to be here long enough so that we can actually watch a movie together and talk about it, without it actually using up a huge amount of the time you have to visit everyone who misses you just as much as I do. =)
You're such a rock. Please do not ever change. =)
The whole concept of f[l]ailing at friend making is one that people don't often realize until they've been in that scenario themselves. The life stage/maturity issue is very much a barrier, and where you're not in undergrad people are probably much more likely to focus on their work. If it were undergrad they might be inclined to put off some work and go to some chill little party and you'd hit it off as friends there.
ReplyDeleteThat's right, I'm blaming the lack of booze and shitty dorm style living! There's simply an abundance of vectors that exist there which can't be duplicated in the grad school level. But I get you though, it's odd but hey, what can you do?
Sucks to your assmar!
For a person as awesome as you, I'm sure it's hard to meet people on your level. Don't worry, though, as long as your loneliness isn't driving you insane, then you should be in good shape. Socializing is great, but sometimes it involves you being entangled in a mess of bullshit you'd be better off avoiding.
ReplyDeleteThen again, if you're into it, all the drama can be fun if you're able to look at it in hindsight while it's happening.
o
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^
*hug*
P.S., I'm surprised by how many people are on blogspot that both you and I know.