Nostalgic Voices in My Head

Clearly being at home has increased my sleep/social life schedule, not to mention family, so my blogging has fallen behind, as has my writing, but I suppose my blogging is on top of my writing, neither of which is finished particularly well anyway. Being at home has induced this mental zombified state where time passes by remarkably quickly, and by time, I mean waking up past 10 am and trying to pretend you were up before 9:30 wastes an hour, by the time you’re done feeding yourself and other siblings, wait is it already lunchtime? Oh wait no, daily Mass at Sts. Peter and Paul, or other commitments, and before you know it its 4 pm, and that’s when mom comes home. But mom’s been working late, so you push that another couple hours, and hey it’s already 6 pm. Given the tone of the past few days, I haven’t been home after 6 pm, so by the time I come home, check emails, talk on msn, and crash its usually past 1:30 am, and the whole thing kickstarts again the next morning. 

It is insane to believe that Christmas is in 1 or 2 days (depending on if you begin to celebrate it on Christmas Eve or Christmas day). Last Christmas, I just started becoming obsessed with the Internet. This Christmas, I realize that some things don’t last.

Last Christmas, I was sneaking around staying up till 3 am under the guise of working on my thesis literature review (which I was doing, kinda). This Christmas, it’s Acoustic Physics (which I am doing, kinda). Some things never change. Like home, home never changes. I forget that it doesn’t, and that I have, and so sometimes I assume things, but mostly I remember in time and realize that I cannot assume those things in this current setting.

I just hung out with more friends. I think it makes me nostalgic, even at the moments I’m among them. These memories are the only ones I have to hold onto when I’m hundreds of miles away, alone in my warm room. When I’m here it was like I had never been away.

After not seeing Roch and Christine for 4 months, seeing them a few nights ago felt like no time had gone by. Funny how it works. Same thing happened with Greg, except it was over a year of not seeing him. And again the same with Jerin, Sebin, and Margaret earlier today. You spend all this time missing them and thinking about how exciting the reunion would be, and once you’re there, it’s all the same once again. You slip into old patterns of thoughts and laughter, and the world is once again comfortable. Maybe that is the beauty in old friendships, and in true friendships, that when you are apart all you want to do (at least on my end, can’t speak for Paul :P) is go back to old times or times you spend in their company. But when you reunite, it’s almost anticlimactic because nothing feels like it’s changed. Perhaps that is what we have to be grateful for – that even after months or years go by, no matter how many things and circumstances and issues have arisen and changed, the relationship still remains the same.

I wonder how much will change.

Cheers!

ps. Happy birthday sister!